Random Conversation (aka Bak)

The title Courtesy: Abhijith, the person who spells my name in a beautiful manner, and utters with even more beauty - DINSY.
Today my PM and my PL both are on leave, thus the only task left to be done is diverting from the normal course of pretending that I work. I bugged everyone, since morning, with forwarded msgs, and they responded too while pretending that they work. One of them (forwards) was a great work of Photoshop, and the consequences gave birth to this blog. I teased him (abhi: the sender) with a few caustic remarks and then he avenged my audacity. I will write the whole episode verbatim without philandering with it, in an attempt to make it better.

There are always few people with whom you can’t adjust, whom you can’t bear around you and who suffice to prove that even almighty GOD makes mistakes. Such a girl is honored with the name X here, not because I am a GOD fearing person, but becuase I am afraid she can sue me. The girl is one from my neighborhood in Chennai, no false assumptions plz.

Here we go:
Dinsy: GR8 work of Adobe photoshop! If you want a pic with your dream gal, send me one of yours and X's snap. I will do the honor. LOL!

Abhi: G**** mein d****…reeeee…teri g**** mein d**** re!! Na Sone ka *****, na X ki dildo teri g**** mein d**** re.

Dinsy: hmm, abusive words, will forward it to X, stating that you pity her for using a dildo.

Abhi: She hates you so much, the whistle blower is gonna go against u. Hehehehe!

Dinsy: No work of abnegation be as profound as my being murdered, for your full of pleasure, amorous, affair with her.

Abhi: Forsooth, a moment of my pleasure be well worth a lifetime of thy contrition, but surely you are blaspheming, when you judge your murder a profound abnegation!

Dinsy: O venerable one and vulnerable one! I have done penance and will do it all cost, clamoring for action, even if the head of mine resides at one's feet. Only thing I fear is that this pauperism of yours, for pleasure, will lead you to, and only to, penitence; Height of pain is that, then, you won't even have me to shoulder your disgraceful body. You will moan, You will cry, You will groan, You will find how unspeakable your agony is; During this ordeal you will die every moment to ameliorate it but it will rarely if at all help. One bard wrote few lines for perverts of your heights:
Kisi Aankh ko sadaa do, kisi julf ko pukaro
Badi dhoop pad rahi hai, koi saaybaan nahi hai!!
Huhh!! Where did you get your vocab from man! Couldn't find all words on Google.

Abhi: Heh heh…let me reply to your mail with a few lines, another bard wrote. Only these are much simpler,
Sticks and stones might break my bones, but mere words can never touch them.
As for not finding them in Google, I don’t think Sergei Brine read as much as I did. ;)

Disny: Gud one! better was the peroration than the lines by some jobless bard. You should look forward to serious writing. I am serious.

What happened after this only Google will result you some day. Happy Googling.

Tamil terriyaadhu

Musafir huun yaaro, Na ghar hai, Na thikaanaa...it seems this song has some relevance to me. I was born in Haryana a few years (read:decades) back. When I was learning how to walk, we moved to a different town. Once I developed the skills to walk and run my family shifted to a new city, I happily joined them. I started my schooling (Kinder Garten) from "Bal Bhavan", a very well known place in a district (and city) called "Jind" in Haryana. I was undoubtedly a bright student but after I completed my 2nd standard, the life pushed us all the way to Assam. After reviewing my past record, Don Bosco, a well known school in Dhemaji (Assam), opened its door to me. I continued there for two years and again came back to Haryana. After 8 years, once more there was a call, this time from Gujarat and hence we moved there. From Gujarat, I moved to Madhya Pradesh only to learn the most important (read:toughest) lessons of life. Next milestone in this journey was Dhirubhai Ambani Inst., GandhiNagar, which is one of my favorite stops till date (28th October, 2007). Here ends the career of Dinesh Agarwal, as a student but not as a vagrant. I got a job myself and moved to Bangalore (Bengluru nowadays). I underwent a learning session for just two three months there (refer the blog titled "Kannada Gotti-La"). And now I am in Chennai, Tamilnadu. I've Started compromising on every thing in life starting from food, shelter and of course clothing. Chennai is a metropolitan city, I bet, only in records. Here you will find bus stops without a single arrangement to sit, humanity at its extreme i.e. people who are either extremely good or extremely bad, tamil as the only language known by most of the public, ATMs with either only Rs.500 currency notes or with only Rs100 currency notes (with a handwritten note on the machine that you can't withdraw more than 40 notes), someone buying a ticket for you in buses (through a queue formed by human beings, that starts with the person closest to conductor) and nonetheless beautiful girls wearing skin tight face masks of black colour (I am not ready to buy the argument that it is their skin colour, God can't be that partial). For any of the local problems your quick fix is "Tamil terriyaadhu". This is a magical chant (better than ROLLUS ENCOMPUS) which helps you conquer the enemy at the gate. Yesterday I wanted to explore the bus rides here, I got into a bus, offered a 10 Rupee currency note to a conductor only to get it back with some scoldings, which meant the money was less for such a long journey, But even my Rs50 note was also insulted. I, then, sat quietly as I wasn't bothered, if he doesn't offer me a ticket. But then, to my surprise, an old lady from nowhere, gave me three coins of Rs1 each and murmured her own chant. I was still unaffected by her magic, but not was this, the case, with Mr. conductor, he obeyed her and gave me a ticket against those coins. As they say, All well that ends well, or in hindi "Jaan bachi so laakhon paaye, laut ke buddhu ghar ko aaye". Anyways leave it, you said something? "Sorry Saar! Tamil Terriyaadhu". ;)

Kannada Gotti-La

Times are rare when your life takes a turn, one is for sure when you end your studies and join the corporate world. Case was same with me too, as I joined Mindtree Consulting in the first week of july and shifted to Bangalore(Bengluru??) finally. Bangalore to me was not a nice place at first, as I had to move a couple of kilometers to find whatever I was looking for. However, now I am as accustomed to it as an indigenous. My experiences till now suggest me that the life saviour sentence (or may be phrase) here is "Kannada Gotti-La". I don't know if it is written the same way I wrote it, but I am correct as far as the pronunciation is concerned. This phrase means "I lack the knowledge to understand what you just articulated in Kannada, which apparently means I am a dumbass". Kannada is the language of Karnataka for those who are bigger dumbasses and don't even know that much. When you shift your state, there are three core concerns "Roti kapada aur makaan" i.e. food, clothing and shelter. Fortunately, I brought enough of clothes with me from my place but to my dismay they have better showrooms here. The food here doesn't seem to be a great trouble as every nook and corner in the city has a restaurant with the word "Sagar" prefixed or postfixed to its name, though I found one exception in form of a restaurant with the name "Shastri Paradise". The only big trouble here for me is the third core issue which is shelter. I have seen so many houses till now that I can see a definite bright future for me as a real estate agent. It is either too expensive for me or too cheap to live in. Finally I settled in a Paying Guest Accommodation for boys for two months. Though I have to share it with a friend of mine, I like it as he is a nice fellow. We discuss things like etiquettes in france and US of A, We do discuss things which matter a lot in a relationship between boys and girls. We travel together and try to occupy a seat with a capacity to accommodate three people with the hope that some beautiful lady can occupy the third seat which never happens, but as they say "Umeed pe duniya kayam hai" we continue. The weather here is great and you need a blanket while sleeping and hot water to shower. I will start hunting for room or flat after a month once again and I wish I would get a good house or another blog entry.

Deewana-e-Ghalib on Deewan-e-Ghalib

Mirza Asadullah Baig Khan also known as Ghalib was born on Dec. 27, 1797 in Agra to parents of turkish aristocratic ancestry. Not many of us know that Ghalib's earlier pen-name was 'Asad'. But when Ghalib came across this sher which used the same pen-name('Takhallus')


"Asad us jafaa par butoN say wafaa ki

Meray sher shabaash rahmat kHuda ki."

(Asad worshipped idols after being betrayed. My couplets are great, by mercy of God)
Ghalib apparently said that whoever authored this 'sher' should get lots of mercy(rahmat) of God but if it is mine then lots of shame(laanat) on me, And consequently he changed his 'Takhallus' to Ghalib which literally means a conqueror.

Enough of introduction and let's move to the works of Ghalib



A piece of art which is rarely read,heard or sung by any aficionado of Ghalib.

Balli maarhah ke mahalle ki wo pechida daleeloN ki see wo galiYan
saamne Taal ke nuKkad pe baTeroN ke posheede
guD-guDaati hui paaN pi peekoN meiN wo daad wo waH-waH
chand darwaaze par laTke huye boshida se kuch TaaT ke parde
ek baKri ke mamiyaane ki awaaZ
aur dhoondhlaayi huyi shaam ke be-noor andhere
aise deewaroN se mooH joD kar chalte haiN yahaN
chuDi-waala unke katri ke badi bee jaise
apNi boojHti hui aaNkhoN se darwaaze TaTole
aisee be-noor andheri see gali qaasim se
ek quran-e-sukhan ka safa khulta hai
asad allah Khan 'GHalib' ka patha milta hai.

Great one isn't it?
There are many in the list. Let us have a look at few very famous 'sher' of the maestro

1)har ek baat pe kehte ho tum ke  'too kya hai'
tumheeN kaho ke yeh andaaz-e-guftgoo kya hai
guftgoo = conversation


One more...

2)baazeechaa-e-atfaal hai duniya mere aage
hota hai shab-o-roz  tamaasha  mere aage
baazeechaa = play/sport, atfaal = children

mat pooch ke kya haal hai mera tere peeche
too  dekh  ke  kya  rang  tera  mere  aage

One more...

3)bus ki dushwaar hai har kaam ka aasaaN hona
aadmee ko bhee muyassar naheeN  insaaN hona
dushwaar = difficult, muyassar = possible

kee mere qatl ke baad usne jafa se tauba
      haay us zood_pashemaaN ka pashemaaN hona
jafa = oppression, zood = quickly, pashemaaN = ashamed/mortified

haif  us chaar girah kapDe  ki qismat 'GHalib'
      jis ki qismat meiN ho aashiq ka girebaaN hona
haif = alas!, girah = one sixteenth of a yard, girebaaN = collar

The Last one...

4)hazaaroN KHwahishaiN 'eisee ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle
      bohot  nikle  mere  armaaN  lekin  fir  bhee  kam  nikle

nikalna KHuld se aadam ka sunte aayaiN haiN lekin
        bohot  be_aabru hokar tere  kooche  se  ham nikle
KHuld = heaven, be_aabaru = disgrace, koocha = street

magar likhwaaye  koee usko KHat, to hamse likhawaaye
      huee subah aur ghar  se kaan par rakhkar qalam nikle

KHuda  ke  waaste  parda  na  kaabe  se  uThaa zaalim
      kaheeN 'eisa na ho yaaN bhee wohee kaafir sanam nikle

kahaaN maiKHaane ka darwaaza 'GHalib' aur kahaaN waaiz
      par itana  jaante haiN  kal wo jaata tha ke ham  nikle
waaiz = preacher/advisor

I selected few 'sher' as selection was left to my discretion,
though there are many other 'sher' which you would prefer or
rate them as better than those provided here. All in all
Ghalib will be remembered for the centuries to come and no
one can replace him. Hats off to Ghalib.

"haiN aur bhee duniya  meiN suKHanwar bohot achche
         kehte haiN ki 'GHalib' ka hai andaaz-e-bayaaN aur"
[suKHanwar = Poet]

when my PC rocks

This is Mital, a pratap purian with endless energy to drive. He knows all the roads to everywhere and all the roads know him very well. He is the best driver I have ever seen driving live in my life.





This is khobcha group in Mt. Abu. Had a nice time there especially under the aegis of Mother nature as this place was ready to be explored by us. But when we went there last time CRPF people had captured this drunkard's indegenous.




There was a hole in that rock and it is an old adage that where there is a hole there is modi :)
Doesn't he look like a zombie in this image? Trust me he is a good looking brat.




This is Brijesh aka Birju Murali adulterated by Computer Graphics. He knows the wisest words to say and the wisest things to do. His timing for everything is so perfect that you will notice that you are the one being screwed by the anecdote only when he is about to finish or already finished.




This is Me. Suffering from anorexia and wandering agape. All in all it was a fun time there at Mt Abu. Before the words start flowing in the tears because of nostalgia let me stop it.

We all believe:
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
-steppenwolf rocks too besides my P-III

may i feel said he

may i feel said he
i'll squeal said she
just once said he
it's fun said she

may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he
why not said she

let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she

may i stay said he
which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she
if you're willing said he
but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he
ow said she

tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he
go slow said she

cccome?said he
ummm said she
you're divine!said he
you are Mine said she

Happy Journey!

Is it Sunday today?
......I think it is saturday
....may be sunday
....
...
I tend to forget days and dates, because when you are working for a government organization, you never have to do anything, you get two days called weekend, to relax, for constantly resting so long, which makes the weekend appear similar to working days, thus no one can differentiate between these two. Sorry! I went offtrack. Let us come back to the point. Saturday is a holiday for me, my mentor, my co-guides and most of my friends except her. It was a benevolent idea to complete every work procrastinated during last few decades. So I started making a list in "descending" order of date(note:I am an IT professional). Three pages were completely filled with just one line per task of last few weeks only, and there were decades to go. Then I recalled the words of my favourite Professor Abhinay Pandya "Degrading the performance gracefully is called scaling", I checked whether I was scalable at that moment or not, unfortunately I was not. The idea, thus was no more benevolent, I started looking for easy alternatives, only to recall that I had to leave this place and need to go Bangalore in two months. I didn't get sentimental as I knew the whole thing that troubled me more was that I had to go and get the ticket booked. Eureka! I shouted sudenly, I got the work for the day and I got ready-headed towards........nowhere. Got up on the high way and asked a "Panwala"(read:indian entrepreneur) where was the railway station in Gandhinagar. Unfortunately he was a "GUJJU"(read:naive) and suggested me five different routes out of which four were very good. I thanked GOD for his not directing to take a turn towards the side, of my hand with an elbow. I moved on and somehow reached the railway station. I took it as an achievement, because it was infact, untill, to my dismay, I got to know that they do not have the facility for ticket reservation there at railway station. I asked a person there, whether Gandhinagar is really the capital city of Gujarat, he didn't get the joke(gujju factor) and he answered with all innocence "ha! ha! mara vahaala (yes, my dear son!)". I was disappointed as one more joke was screwed by this old bald jackass. Then someone told me there is a place called "Sachiwalaya" where they book tickets and I rushed all the way to Sachiwalaya. When I entered the reservation centre there were two queues one was extremely long and newcomers increased the population of that queue only, while second one consisted of only a few people. I checked whether that was for senior citizens,ladies or handicapped(physically) but it was not. Being a proud DAIICTian I was happy that I got a chance, to get a ticket even before those who arrived prior to me. Those duffers appeared losers to me. Nowadys people don't have the habit of looking for better alternatives, I observed. I was happy that my attitude was much superior to those underdogs. Then, to my dismay I was made aware that the queue was small becuase the closing time of that window was about few minutes away. I had ten minutes, prior to join those so called underdogs. I now understood that they were also human beings and were my fellow brothers from the homosepians family. Sometimes the best alternatives appear to be austerely sober, I gathered. I started respecting those under**** for what they were. I had ten minutes, something was there which haunted me for feeling that way, and being a DTG (Daiict Theater Group) member I could do anything in ten minutes. I thought of performing some acting, cajole the clerk and get me a ticket out of turn, but that was a fantasy, I knew I was not dreaming and thus the idea was dropped. What to do was the question, all of a sudden I got a brilliant idea when I saw an agent giving three forms to the clerk while the law only permits one form at a time. The patriot inside me was ready to be deployed and I freed it. I went to the head of queue and had a talk with the first two people; who I knew were providing covering fire to the person at head node of the queue(agent); about how unfair it was and if they do not stop it, something weird was about to happen. They looked at my strange beard, then those bastards giggled and said "Aap karwalo pahle". I bet they could never guess that I knew Gujarati language very well and I didn't tell them how pathetic there hindi pronounciation was. Anyways I was the front node of that queue now and a single POP(have you ever had a subject in Data Structures?) operation would have gained me a ticket. While I was waiting, a physically handicapped person arrived from nowhere and asked the clerk for ten rupees to which he denied in a way as if it was his work for daily-wages. The buster turned towards me and asked for ten rupees to which I politely(read:politely) denied. He then wore some strange looks and told the members of the queue that I had money to buy tickets but not to give him, and that I was not what GOD wanted me to be. But I was a hard nut to crack and he didn't own the iron teeth, So he left helpless. In the meanwhile the patriot inside me went sleeping and I finally got a ticket, out of the order. Now I understood why railway platforms are pronounced as (Play-tough-arm).

Why the sun sets?

I have never asked this question to anyone who meets me daily or rather who i feel can meet me again, And the reason behind this is logical as i dont want them to prepare points to debate and then convince me. But i know the sun sets and it sets daily following its schedule. Even mother nature works according to rules(so should i).

It's fantastic to watch the sunset. And it's a lot easier to see it than the sunrise as it is in the afternoon, and not in the early morning... ;) A great place to see it is at my dream palace(i will have one by 2040 no matter wat happens) . Sit on the sand with your feet in the water while fishes swim around, and listen to Ghulam Ali Sahab(tabiyat udaas hai saaqi sharaab la sharaab la) from the bar.

Try to be in ur birthdress or just a brief(pure white) would do. Try to be alone if you are in search of something special or if you need courage or if you just want to be yourself for few moments.

But pay attention to the sun, because in just a few minutes it's gone. It goes really quick. You are invited their on 2oth feb 2040 to celebrate my birthday with me.